Sunday, October 30, 2011

Gruesome Halloween Treats

Many weeks ago, I attended a free Halloween culinary demonstration on post. 

The chefs demonstrated how to make several Halloween themed food items. I loved this little ghost cake with her little red sneakers.

This eyeball cake seemed pretty easy to make as well. 

These severed finger cookies looked so realistic that they were a little hard to take a bite into without cringing.

I skipped out on eating worms on a bun with green colored mustard.

The brain cocktail was pretty clever and smelled quite tasty.

And this kitty litter cake was absolutely gag-worthy, especially when served in a kitty litter box. 

They let us play with fondant, something I've always wanted to try myself.

But my absolute favorite Halloween idea was the Jell-O worm that was both sweet and sickly at the same time. Such a clever trick!

They were also nice and wiggly.

I had to get a picture with this chocolate figure. I thought I was much closer to it, but this picture obviously shows how creeped out I am by this fake conducter.

Halloween is one of The Hubby's favorite holidays. I would love to throw a Halloween party one day (if he's ever home on Halloween, that is!).

Friday, October 28, 2011

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Sniffles and Being Uncool

This cold is really kicking my butt, guys. This bout of sickness is not nearly as bad as the snotfest that was back in May, but it has really thrown me for a loop. I'm tired all the time and want to go to bed every day at 8pm. You know how you're supposed to lose your appetite when you're ill? My body reacts in the opposite manner and starts to crave all of the foods that I have denied myself (i.e. pizza, banana nut bread, chocolate, donuts, white rice). How sad would it be if I ordered Domino's Pizza for my lonesome self?

I haven't exercised one bit since Sunday afternoon. If there's one thing I remember from high school biology (other than the horror that is childbirth) it is that if you are not feeling well, your body is asking you to slow down so that it can recover. These past few months have been a huge blur. I am so thankful that I have started working because it keeps me busy and it gives me something else to be responsible for other than remembering to feed Bella three times a day.

The other benefit to working is that I have less time to go shopping out of boredom. Now that I'm actually making money, I spend less time spending it. Oh, the irony! My shopping habits have evolved from craft supplies to things for our house and finally to building up my wardrobe. I have probably two times more clothes than I did this time last year, and yet I still struggle to find something to wear every single day. I'm becoming my mother...

My stuffy nose and exhaustion hasn't stopped me from working though. I don't want to lose my momentum and I want to work as much as possible before The Hubby returns (!!) and I go back to my sit-at-home-and-wait-for-him-to-get-off-work ways. I hope that I can still work a few half days despite still being a one car household.

Even though I am only 23, I find myself saying phrases that make me sound so old and so very uncool. These are the phrases I say almost every day at school that make me cringe as the words come tumbling out of my mouth:

Walk, don't run.
Spit out that gum.
Tuck in your shirt.
Stop fooling around.
Settle down, class.
Pick up your feet.
How do you come to class without a pencil?
Pick up your trash.
Write your name on your paper.
Pull up your pants.

Who am I kidding? I used to say these things (or at least think them) back in middle school. I have always been uncool.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Top Contender

A local dog trainer is having a contest for families of deployed Soldiers to win free dog training. You know all about Bella's numerous "quirks"ranging from having difficulty making left turns, urinating indoors and getting into the trash. The worst of her many problems is her severe separation anxiety. We fear that Bella will one day severely injure herself one day. She already has scars on her face from her multiple escape attempts.

We've tried natural remedies, the Thundershirt and some techniques we found online, but nothing has worked thus far. I even put in rawhides with her to keep her occupied, but she waits for me to return home to chew it, which is absolute craziness for our food loving canine. Our veterinarian refuses to prescribe her any medications. I think he may change his mind if I showed him the video below.

I recently set up my laptop to capture video of how Bella behaves in her cage while I am away. I was out of the house for about and hour and a half and I would say that Bella was barking 75 of those 90 minutes. I've condensed the video to about four minutes. Bella would bark, try to break out, take a break (but never rested her head or slept) and then start over. It makes me feel so awful to see her in this state. I didn't even know that Bella could howl!

With me working more often, Bella spends more time in her cage than ever (if she doesn't escape, that is). For Bella's sake, I really hope we get picked to get free training! It's a good thing I have this blog because it means I have endless photos and videos documenting her bursts of insanity. Wish us luck!

On Repeat: Ali in the Jungle

Everybody gets knocked down. How quick are you gonna get up?

Monday, October 24, 2011

Raising Hope


Raising Hope has become one of my favorite shows.

growing up with your grandparents in this house left me with a lot of scars, but it also left me with the confidence that no dream is too big. we didn’t have the best life, but that didn’t stop us from hoping that one day we would. and when you’re growing up around a couple of dreamers, you can’t help but turn into one yourself. i may not be able to give you the perfect life, but i want you to live in a house that makes you believe that one day you can get it. that’s why i’m gonna make sure you never see your daddy stop dreaming, because if you stop dreaming, you’re just sleeping

Our Future

I'm sorry I haven't been able to write much lately. I get so tired from substitute teaching that I just want to sit, eat and watch television. Today is no exception. I have been doing really well with walking Bella daily and exercising as well, but I'm feeling especially lousy tonight due to allergies so I'm giving myself a little break.

One of the classes I had today was assigned to type up a journal entry at least 100 words in length. I truly hope that as a sixth grader I had better writing skills than these three kids! I feel sorry for their English teachers. I don't understand how it is possible for there to be so many mistakes when the students typed their journal entries in word processors that do automatic grammar and spell checks. It's really depressing!

Journal 1: today I waked up in the morning I brushed mt tooth I went out side' look at the weather' got ready for school eat brefreast ' I watched tv I went to the bus stop then I got the the bus!!!!!!! then I got to school gang out with friends then I got to mi first period class I did some math problems'!!!!!! then I went to lunch I talked to my best friend and now Im in 9th period then I have dance practice (: and Im going to hang out with my friends

Journal 2: Today I was sitting with the girl I punch Friday because she take my pencil and my erase and I don like nobody to take my stuff and she take it and I tell here to live my stuff alone. And today we finish to see the movie of Gnome and Juliet and we started again with that movie is awesome. 

Journal 3: to day I did nothing real. On the bust I got new seats. i was wlaking to my friends house. I eat a hour dog for lunch It was good. I did not tolk a but enwytheag at luche. I real a sleep in 7th period it is histoer. It is fun normely but not to day. I was playing tag in p.e. it was not fun. My friend is dun all ready he is playing a game right now. He is a sniper in the game. After this I am playing a game its cool.

But do you know what's worse than their horrible writing skills? The fact that they hurried to finish their journal entries so that they could play disturbing games such as The Torture Game 3 and Kill Osama Bin Laden.

I'm beginning to think that I want our children to go to private schools.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Thursday, October 20, 2011

And I Was

10. Be able to run two three four miles without stopping.

Be Awesome

Source: Uploaded by user via Min on Pinterest

I'm still getting used to waking up before the sun comes up thing. I really wish my stomach and taste buds could tolerate coffee so that I could get a little jolt in the morning in order to get ready for dealing with rowdy students. Instead, I'll just have to hug Bella for a bit. Don't you know that hugging a warm dog in the morning is the happiest thing you can do in the AM?

Oh, and this song.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

On Repeat: Half Moon

Happened to listen to the radio when Blind Pilot sang an acoustic version of it live. At the next stop light I quickly (and dangerously) scribbled the band's name. Always keep a pen and notepad nearby in case you come across a good song!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Before today, the greatest distance I was capable of running without stopping was 1.3 miles.

Today, I told myself that I was capable of running two miles.

So I did.

And then I ran half a mile more.

And then I threw up.

Source: via Min on Pinterest

Just kidding.

10. Be able to run two three miles without stopping.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

12 by 2012


Twelve things I want to accomplish by 2012:

1. Do some form of exercise every single day, rendering the use of Spanx unnecessary.
2. Sew at least two articles of clothing.
3. Keep the house clean in case Ellen DeGeneres ever decides to surprise us with a trip to Hawaii.
4. Sleep before midnight on weekdays.
5. Work at least three half days and two full days each week.
6. Walk Bella daily.
7. Read five books.
9. Go (mostly) Paleo for a week.
10. Be able to run for two miles without stopping.
11. Make a yarn wreath for our door.
12. Learn how to walk in heels.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Amy's Song

This video never fails to make me smile/cry. I love Amy's genuine reaction, how they incorporated just about everyone, the incredibly talent of all of her friends, and the unbelievable love that filled the room. I don't know how they pulled this off.

The Great Escape

This giant Route 44 peach sweet tea was my form of self medication for an exceptionally CRAPTASTIC work day. It was fifteen minutes before the end of happy hour and I needed something to soothe my nerves after almost eight hours with the worst fifth graders in the world. I never even considered talking back to adults when I was in school. 

These kids have no fear. They don't respond to threats. They don't care if they disrespect you or their peers. If you write their name on the board they complain and ask five minutes later if I'm ever going to take it down. I thought that maybe I was a bad substitute, but I saw that they were behaving just as badly with their music teacher. 

I was more than ready to get back home, change my clothes, and eat a hearty salad for dinner in my underpants. But when I opened the door, I found that Bella pulled a Houdini and escaped from her kennel once again. I knew I had padlocked her kennel so I was completely confused.

As you can see, the lock was still there holding the door to the kennel, but not where it belonged. 

Apparently, if you push the kennel enough with all your doggy force you can loosen up the screws just enough to create some leverage and pop out the cage door. If you look carefully, you can see that Bella tore off three metal bars from the door with her teeth.

And of course whenever Bella busts out she searches for food. She knows exactly where to go, too. Typically, she goes for the trash can, but today she grabbed her storage box in the living room where I keep all of her treats and grooming supplies. Bella then dragged everything all over the house and ate every last morsel. I'm not even sure how she is able to pull out the box without damaging it one bit. 

I tried a new herbal remedy for Bella meant to calm her down this morning and it obviously did not work. I had such high hopes for it too after the Thundershirt failure. I believe that Bella fights through any pain or fatigue. I'm still very upset with her and haven't pet her at all since I got back home. 

Since I was away for so long, I expected to find at least one puddle of urine in the house. I didn't find any (thank goodness), but I did notice something strange about the blinds in our bedroom.

One of the strings somehow snapped. Perfect.

I'm hoping The Hubby can figure out a way to fix it when he gets home.

I also received a bit of a snarky email and had to deal with that accordingly. Some people believe that they are entitled to more than they actually are. At this point, I was literally shaking with a combination of anger and frustration.

After all that, I decided to mellow out on the couch and watch "Ace of Cakes", which has honestly become one of my absolute favorite things to do daily. I found out that my DVR had a glitch and only recorded some of it. Awesome.

My dear friend knew exactly how to cheer me up: food with a smiley face and a coupon for ice cream. I have the most amazing friends here. Thanks, T! Fist bump "hug"!

Mmm...she has me hooked on pulled pork. It took a lot of self control to only eat half of it.

And then I accidentally ripped my coupon in half as I was peeling it off from the foil. Good thing my buddy Robert will still let me use it.

It was one of those horrible days that made me wish I had a husband around who could help me bake angry brownies and then do the dishes afterwards. Did I ever tell you that I bake when I'm upset? Something about the measuring of ingredients and stirring calms me down. Except I'm completely out of oil and eggs.

I know that there are people dying in the world and all that, but I just had a bad day for my lame standards. Usually when I'm so agitated I just hold Bella for a bit and feel better, but today she is a major source of frustration.

Hubby, you can come home anytime now...

Source: via Min on Pinterest

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

On Repeat: Can't Fight This Feeling

Remember when I posted last year about a song I really loved in Harry Shum, Jr's LXD short? Well, I revisited my search for the song and found it on YouTube. Hurray!

I'm really glad his character was able to get more screen time on "Glee" last week. I knew I kept up with this show for a good reason! The writers are right. An "A-" grade is definitely an "Asian F." If I received straight A's, my mom would point out that one minus and ask what happened there. Such a sad way to go through your childhood, but I guess it worked out in the end.

Monday, October 10, 2011


Is it sad that I literally beg Bella to come on the bed and snuggle with me every night because I'm so lonely? I haven't seen The Hubby since June and it's taking a toll on me. Although I have always wanted to talk to The Hubby daily, it has gotten to the point where I feel like my day is not complete without a Skype session. I long for that oh so familiar Skype call sound.

I hate this about myself because I find it extremely weak, especially when I know I am lucky to be able to hear from him so often compared to friends with husbands in Afghanistan. The good thing is that I don't allow myself to expect a call from him because it would drive me absolutely crazy if I did, like it does with so many other Army wives. I think it's time for him to come home already!

Bella likes to use her bed as a giant pillow.

Getting Bella on the bed never used to be such a task. In fact, she used to jump up without permission in the middle of the night and I would suddenly wake up next to her. Bella has suddenly decided that sleeping on the floor against the bed is more comfortable than sleeping on the bed with a human trying to spoon her. So when I finally do get her up, I leave her alone and give her room. It's just nice to have her warm body next to me, even if I'm not allowed to cuddle with her.

When I ask her "Do you want to come up?" she slowly makes her way around the bed to The Hubby's side of the bed and hops on. Her head immediately rests on the pillow and she pushes her little body against the curve of mine.

The Hubby: Hey, when I come home can you please wash the sheets because there's a bunch of fur on my side of the bed. 

I'm pretty sure there was a mix of profanity in there somewhere.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Sit Down and Shut Up

I need to watch this every day before I go into a classroom for some empowerment. As a substitute and a female I cannot possibly tell students to shut up or that I will "make change" out of them, but I can at least exude the same amount of confidence and ownership of the classroom. Thanks for sharing, Spencer and Kenny (almost).


I think it's sad that I am legitimately scared of being too harsh to a student because I'll get shanked or something. This is an entirely different generation with lack of respect and with a lot of anger. And yet I still prefer middle school and high school students over elementary school kiddies. 


I told you how the kids in my classes have the strangest names. I'm no longer phased by them and my inability to pronounce anything correctly, but it has messed me up in an unexpected way. I now prepare myself thinking that a name is pronounced differently than what I would assume it to be and it sometimes backfires on me.

A girl in my ninth grade geography class was named Januari.

Me: "Juan-air-y? Is Juan-air-y here? No? Jan-are-ee?"

crickets chirp

Me: "J-A-N-U-A-R-I?"

Student: "You mean January?" (pronounced like the month)

Me: "Err yeah. January?"

Thank goodness she was absent.

I met an eighth grader named Unique on Friday. She has a lot to live up to.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Cat Fights and Cookies

I haven't been the best blogger as of late. This week, along with the past two months, flew by so quickly. Bella's health scare made this week more stressful than usual. Thankfully, Bella was not diagnosed with kennel cough and is back to normal. Besides the stains on the carpets and a slight dent in our bank account, there are no remnants of her coughing fits. Phew!

She was even well enough to pose for a birthday picture for my sister. Isn't my daughter adorable? Happy birthday, sister!

Are you guys tired of hearing about my substitute teaching adventures yet? I'm not tired of sharing my stories. I have a new one every day.
  • Got sick of students talking about having swagger so I told my eight grade boys that no one had swagger. They were highly offended.
  • Eighth graders didn't know how to add fractions. 
  • I forgot the answer to 9 x 3.
  • I had lunch duty and a fight broke out in the cafeteria. It was like a prison riot. I was the closest adult so I stepped in-between the two girls immediately and tried to break it up. I was bombarded by students trying to get closer to view the cat fight and it was a good two minutes before another adult showed up to help me. It was terrifying! By the end of lunch, the girls were best friends again.
  • I will never sub on a Friday afternoon again.
  • Heard that someone gets jumped every day at the local high school. 
  • Some of the middle schooler girls are more developed than I am. I should have had a better diet when I was still growing.
  • Lunch at the school consisted of tater tots, cheese pizza, chips, and ice cream. Jamie Oliver, please come to Texas. 
  • I'm becoming slightly less offended when students ask me about my ethnicity. They don't make racist remarks or anything. I can see that they are legitimately curious because they rarely see Asian people in this area. 
  • My married name is also a topic of discussion. I guess there aren't that many German names in Texas either? At least no one has called me Mrs. Shit yet. That's one of my worst fears.
You can call me Mrs. S. (source)

Highlights of the week:
  • Heard multiple students shout, "It's her! She's the best sub ever!" on Friday when I walked in the classroom.
  • A friend made two giant meatballs without cheese in it just for me because she remembered that I was lactose intolerant for a potluck yesterday. Another friend did that for me a few months ago with her enchiladas. I have amazing friends here!
  • Successfully made Snickers stuffed chocolate chip cookies for a potluck today. Can't wait to make them for The Hubby when he returns. I was baking them while we were Sype-ing today and he told me to take a bite. I definitely taunted him with all the chocolatey goodness. No photos because they were finished too quickly.
  • Saw Bella sniffing a baby's head with a lot of interest today. Made my ovaries quiver. 

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

On Repeat: Parenthood Soundtrack


Heard these from one of my favorite shows, "Parenthood." I'm always writing down lyrics on scraps of paper or napkins when I hear a song that I really like while watching television. Did you know there's a site that makes a list of songs from each episode? Pretty nifty!

That's Not My Name

Taking attendance has become quite the challenge. 

"I'm going to apologize now if I completely butcher your names. In my generation, we just had a bunch of Tiffany's and Jennifer's. Your parents were really creative."

Here are some of the names I came across in my eighth grade classes:


Tuesday, October 4, 2011


Other than that little typo, this phrase is pretty perfect.

This means...

offering your jacket when she's cold.
opening doors for her.
reaching for her hand.
no hooting and hollering at attractive ladies that pass by.
not bragging about your sexual encounters to your buddies.
kisses on the cheek.
letting her eat ice cream without guilt.
sending her flowers "just because."
not being afraid to say you love her.
being polite.
having good morals.
offering to do the dishes.
taking out the trash without complaining.
loving dogs.
being nice to waiters.
not being stingy.
rubbing her stomach when her tummy hurts.
doing security checks before going to bed.


Basically, our future son-in-law will have a lot to live up to.

First Grade

A childhood friend posted this picture last night on Facebook in all of its outrageously embarrassing glory.   My friend said that he spotted me immediately. "Such a Barbie," he claimed. The Hubby spent a few minutes mocking my smile. I didn't know how to smile for pictures as a child and no one told me I was doing it wrong. I was a mini Chandler Bing.

Future Kiddo, I promise to you that I will let you know if your smile is awkward. You'll think that I'm mean, but it's only so that your future smart ass of a wife or husband won't make fun of you. Well, they won't make fun of your smile at least. I can't help you if he/she makes fun of your crazy mother.

Monday, October 3, 2011

You Can Do it!

Thank you, Halls Vitamin C Defense Drops for giving me a few words of encouragement on your little wrappers. Things have been a little stressful around here with Bella being sick, me beginning to work (and having to take time off), and Army responsibilities. But, you're right, Halls. I can do it, and I know it.

There's a chance that Bella does not have kennel cough, but that her throat is just irritated from the tube they stuck down her throat from her teeth cleaning. I'm supposed to take her back in three days for a recheck. Crossing my fingers that her medications will cure her horrible hacking and that she will be fine.

Last night, I tried to block Bella from going into my carpeted bedroom because she had already spotted it with all the foam and mucus she's been throwing up. I placed her bed right outside my doorway, left the door open, and placed objects in the way so that she couldn't come in. She whined, stared, paced, and eventually pushed her way through. The only way I even knew she made her way in was when she started coughing and I realized that she was right next to me.

This dog cannot even be in a separate room from me. I would call that an unhealthy obsession.

I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight. The things I do for my daughter.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Kennel Cough?

Bella started coughing violently last night and throwing up white foam. Whenever I see her struggling like this, I want to just hold her and cry a bit. I just feel so badly for her. I wonder what it'll be like when my kids are sick. I imagine much worse.

I looked up all the symptoms and they are a complete match for kennel cough. I'm just glad that besides the few spurts of wheezing and coughing she is acting normally and doesn't seem to be phased. However, this will mean more vet bills, not being able to work because her coughing in the kennel will make it much worse, and backing out on a promise to dog sit for a friend tomorrow.

I was also supposed to go to a free retreat to a great hotel in a couple of weeks, but now I can't attend. This wouldn't be such a big deal except I was supposed to go with another friend and she was only going to attend if I was. Just a few hours before Bella started showing symptoms I purchased a ticket to see Death Cab for Cutie in concert next week. I may not be able to go to that either because my long absence will cause stress which can be bad for her as well. Again, not a big deal except that the person who invited me was only going to the concert if I was. I absolutely hate being a flake!

I'm taking Bella in tomorrow and we'll see what the vet diagnoses. The real kicker of this is that I'm fairly certain she caught kennel cough when she went to the vet to get her teeth cleaned and was locked up in the back kennels. Until then, my dog loving readers, do you think Bella has kennel cough? This video isn't even of her worst coughing fits. Poor girl!


Will we have to add kennel cough to all of the problems Bella has?
Separation anxiety
Slight OCD
Bad digestion
Ear infections
Corneal dystrophy
Torn ACL's

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Got No Swag

Ah, eighth grade. I thought I was on top of the world when I was in the eighth grade. I knew the names of all the teachers, walked the hallways with confidence, and couldn't be bothered by the shenanigans of the younger kids. I remember that year perfectly and look back upon it fondly.

When I saw that there was a middle school language arts teacher in need of a substitute, I signed up immediately. I had a total of three out of nine periods free and even when I had students, I was able to sit at the front desk and read a book. By now, these kids know exactly what is expected out of them. The majority of the students got right into their assignments and worked quietly. I was so incredibly pleased after two very rough days.

I can be honest with them and try to play it cool and confident. I only had issues with one period.

Kids never sit in their assigned seats when there is a substitute. I was really lenient with this as long as they were still able to work quietly and it really wasn't an issue. These three boys, however, were complete pains.

F and A sat next to each other and started to make humming noises in an effort to drive me crazy. They also had the giggles and were just incredibly rude. I gave them a death stare, which really didn't work for much longer than two seconds. I eventually made them both move to other sides of the room. 

But before this, V went over to sit next to them. I asked him to return to his original seat and he made some dumbass excuse about how one side of the room was warmer than the other. After three minutes of arguing back and forth, he was finally caught up in his own lie and took his seat. 

The class was trying to stifle their laughter during this exchange and it actually really hurt my feelings and I could feel myself wanting to cry. I didn't show my moment of weakness, but I was just incredibly frustrated by the utter disrespect from these boys. 

I found myself saying, "You guys are eight graders. Just because I am a substitute does not mean you can walk all over me." Ugh. There went my cool factor. 

At least my next class was a dream and they told me that I seemed like a very nice teacher. 

Things I learned about eighth graders:
1) Boys brush their hair more than girls.
2) Tucking in shirt is still very uncool.
3) Flirting consists of stealing each others' papers and knocking over their books.
4) When they go to the bathroom, they will take their sweet time. 
5) They will fail at trying to hide their cell phones. 
6) They will lie to you without hesitation.
7) It is funny to write on a piece of paper, "Got no swag" and then stick it on their own back.
8) It is absolutely necessary for them to relace their sneakers during class.
9) They need to learn about the benefits of wearing deodorant.
10) The majority of them look like juniors in high school. 
11) A lot of the girls have more womanly figures than I do, and that is really depressing.